Why Study Grace?

I so often feel like a failure and a loser.  I know that is not what God thinks of me.  However, I don't know that well enough and quite honestly I feel like I don't know God well enough.
So, a few months back I decided to start reading the Bible as much as I could, and then I started really studying it.  What does it mean?  What did it mean when it was written?  How can I learn and get to know God better?
As I read and studied, I started to write down what I was looking at.  It just helps me to do more than just read.  By engaging my brain and putting pen to paper I was thinking through things more.  It helped make more sense.  It also made what I was learnig more practical - and possible.
God became much more real to me.  The verse in James 4 that says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" - that actually started to happen.  This happened not just in a studying / educational way - but in a relevant, personal way.
I like practical things.  Things that make sense because of the plan or directions that are lined out.  So, when I read certain passages of the Bible that spell out things like: In order to do this thing or become this person - do such and such, or pray in such and such a way.

As noted, I am recently divorced - without being too revealing, part of the reason why the divorce happened was my ignorance of what love is, what love means, what love requires, what love does.

So - I set out to find out what the Bible says about love.  It didn't take long to read and understand it boils down to 2 things: 1) Love God.  2) Love others. 

I was done being so ignorant and naive' when it comes to love.

Okay God, I asked - how do I do either, or both?  I am such a failure when it comes to loving God and loving others.  As I studied I saw the Bible equips us in such a way to make it possible to love.  Not only that - but God loves us.  God loves me.  He desires to have a relationship, a personal relationship with me and even though I am not capable of that because of my sin, my failures, my inconsistencies - He has made it possible through the saving and redeeming work of His Son, Jesus Christ.

As mentioned, I relate to practical instruction - so I was reading my Bible and came back to the books of 1st and 2nd Peter.  He is one practical dude having written on such a personal and practical level.  1st Peter ws awesome to read.  And then I came to 2nd Peter.  And that is where I will start the next post, because that is where I have been camped for about 2 months - it is changing my life.