I so often feel like a failure and a loser. I know that is not what God thinks of me. However, I don't know that well enough and quite honestly I feel like I don't know God well enough.
So, a few months back I decided to start reading the Bible as much as I could, and then I started really studying it. What does it mean? What did it mean when it was written? How can I learn and get to know God better?
As I read and studied, I started to write down what I was looking at. It just helps me to do more than just read. By engaging my brain and putting pen to paper I was thinking through things more. It helped make more sense. It also made what I was learnig more practical - and possible.
God became much more real to me. The verse in James 4 that says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" - that actually started to happen. This happened not just in a studying / educational way - but in a relevant, personal way.
I like practical things. Things that make sense because of the plan or directions that are lined out. So, when I read certain passages of the Bible that spell out things like: In order to do this thing or become this person - do such and such, or pray in such and such a way.
As noted, I am recently divorced - without being too revealing, part of the reason why the divorce happened was my ignorance of what love is, what love means, what love requires, what love does.
So - I set out to find out what the Bible says about love. It didn't take long to read and understand it boils down to 2 things: 1) Love God. 2) Love others.
I was done being so ignorant and naive' when it comes to love.
Okay God, I asked - how do I do either, or both? I am such a failure when it comes to loving God and loving others. As I studied I saw the Bible equips us in such a way to make it possible to love. Not only that - but God loves us. God loves me. He desires to have a relationship, a personal relationship with me and even though I am not capable of that because of my sin, my failures, my inconsistencies - He has made it possible through the saving and redeeming work of His Son, Jesus Christ.
As mentioned, I relate to practical instruction - so I was reading my Bible and came back to the books of 1st and 2nd Peter. He is one practical dude having written on such a personal and practical level. 1st Peter ws awesome to read. And then I came to 2nd Peter. And that is where I will start the next post, because that is where I have been camped for about 2 months - it is changing my life.